Dear Ex,

Why does your presence still haunt me? I still love you but have hard feelings towards you at the same time. I’m hoping by getting this off my chest that if you were to come running back tomorrow, I’d have closure enough to see the truth. 

You were abusive and I don’t think you realize that. Pressuring me into gaining weight is emotional and bordering on physical abuse. You weren’t thinking of me when you were talking me into those things. You were thinking of your sexual desires. Being 600lbs is not my idea of fun. But you wouldn’t hear that. You said you’d love me at any weight but constantly told me you’d only be sexually interested in me if I was over 350lbs. Love is unconditional in my view and you placing a weight limit on it isn’t unconditional. 

I was with you over 4 years. Hadn’t seen you in over 2 1/2. You wouldn’t meet the people most important to me but you wanted to get me pregnant to get me away from them. And so I would gain weight. Did you really want the little girls with brown eyes like you said you did? Cause I meant it when I said I wanted green eyed boys. Was the hatred truly there towards my molester? Would you have truly came if I was in trouble when he escaped from prison or was that a lie too? Was I the only girlfriend? Were you really single? Did you love me like you claimed you did? I was hesitant saying the words. You said them first and made me believe you meant them which warmed my frozen heart. Were they true? Or was it just words to get me to drive 2 hours one way just to hop into bed with you? You seem like you cared but everything about you fooled me so why not be blinded by that too. 

I needed to get these things off my chest even if you never read them. You aren’t the man I thought you were. I’m glad I found that out now. 

Sincerely,

The girl who’s heart you broke